I remember as a boy watching the Ginsu Knife commercials.  Those first few seconds depicted a hand karate chopping some boards, accompanied by a voice that said

“In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife!  (pause for karate chop of boards)  But this method doesn’t work with a tomato!  (karate chop of a tomato)”

That introduction sure got alot of attention.  That company sold over a million sets of knives with that commercial back in a day when the internet was not really heard of, when giving your credit card number over the phone was a new concept, and when the main delivery method (UPS) was on strike!  People had to go get a pen and paper and write down the address of the company and mail a check to purchase the product.  Trust me when I say that is NOT an easy way to sell products.

These days, you still need to get people’s attention, but you also need to earn their trust.  The key to any sale is to earn trust and gain your customer’s loyalty.  At that point, they are no longer a customer, but a client.  They are loyal to you because you are good at what you do, but you have also showed that you care about them as a person, not just as a sale. 

What kind of car salesman would you rather buy from?  One who calls you by name, knows your spouse’s name, your kids’ name?  One who makes personal recommendations based on what they know about your needs and the needs of your family, and then mails you a thank-you card after the sale?  One who mails you a birthday card, a card during the Christmas season, mails your kids a birthday card?

Or someone who just happens to be working their shift and gets up from their desk to see “if you have any questions.”

Try this idea….You are a realtor and you have a couple who just made an offer on a house.  You get out your digital camera and take a picture of them standing on the porch of that house.  Then you go home and create a “Welcome to your NEW  HOME!” card with that picture on the front of it, and mail it to them.  Do you think they will back out of that offer on that house once they show all of their friends that picture card?

No way!

You NEED to make it personal to get people’s attention, and to KEEP their attention.  People have short memories, and to earn their trust and loyalty takes time and effort.  You need to keep yourself in front of your clients regularly.  And like the car salesman or the realtor, you need to make it personal!

What would you think if I told you that there IS a way to keep people’s attention, AND to make it personal?  What if I told you that it really won’t take very much of your time each month, but the rewards would be lasting?

I have found a way to do this that is easy, affordable, and personal!  And I’d like to tell you about it.  Better yet, I’d like to SHOW it to you, so you can experience it.  I realize that there is a HUGE difference between “head knowledge” and “experiential knowledge”.  You can “know” something by reading about it or hearing about it, but to really “know” something, you need to experience it.

I should know.  I have been in the sales profession for almost 9 years now.  Not only that, but I was a top salesperson in 2 of the companies I was with.  I grossed over $500,000 in sales as a travelling salesman for a direct marketing cutlery company over the course of 18 months.  I was also recently named to Verizon Wireless’ President’s Cabinet for 2009, which is awarded to the top 1% of the sales force of a Fortune 20 company (They were listed #17 last year…go ahead, look it up….we’ll wait).  I know what it takes to turn customers into clients! 

In life, you are selling all the time.  Any time you are face to face, eyeball to eyeball, toe to toe, kneecap to kneecap, you are selling.  I know the importance of making things personal in the selling process.

So let me help you experience what I am talking about.  If you want to see what I am talking about, send me an email to this address:

personal@tim-jensen.com

But there is a catch!  I am putting my money into this, so I am only doing this for the first 25 people who email me at that address.  When I have 25 people, I will close this offer.  If you are one of the first 25 people to respond to this by sending me an email, I will reply to you personally by asking you a few questions.

This is not for everyone.  It is only for those people who want to make themselves and their lives better.  And it is only for people who are fast decision makers.  I am offering this only to my twitter and facebook friends.  Because I have over  77,000 twitter followers, I expect this offer to close within 24 hours.  Don’t delay!

One more thing.  This offer is only for people based in the USA.  You must have a USA mailing address to take advantage of this offer, as I will be sending you something in the mail.

Thanks for reading,

Tim

PS – remember, only 25 people will be selected, and they must have a USA mailing address.  Because I have over 77,000 twitter followers, I expect this offer to be closed within 24 hours or less!  Act Now!

Word Count: 976

Leading up to the trip, both Carrie and I were talking with our coworkers and friends about the trip.  They all had suggestions about what to see and do.  Many recommended that we take the boat tour.  Most asked if we were going to the Canadian side of the Falls.  Some suggested that we watch the movie of the history of the Falls.

Our trip was a relatively short one.  We left from work on Thursday night, July 30th and were back on Monday night, August 3rd.  We decided to drive, because we wanted the time together in the car, and we wanted control of where to go and when to go there.

We arrived at Niagara Falls, NY on Friday night around midnight.  We were hoping to see the fireworks that they were putting on that night, but we missed it by a couple of hours.  So we settled in to our hotel room and got ready for the big day on Saturday.

Don’t worry, this post is not a travelogue.  I just wanted to give you the setting for the next part.

The American Falls

The next morning, we got up and ready to go.  When we got to the park, the first place we wanted to go to was on the boat tour.  We paused briefly in the park and listened to the sound of the Falls.  We really got excited about seeing this Mighty Wonder.  After all, we had not ever seen the Falls before.  After listening to the sound of the Falls for a minute, we went to the ticket booth, gave them our tickets, and went to the observatory.  Up the steps we went, listening to the Falls get louder and louder.  It was an awesome feeling anticipating what we were about to see.  We got our cameras ready and climbed the stairs.

We got to the top of the stairs and looked out over the fenced-in observatory.  The first thing we saw was the American Falls.  I just stood in amazement for a minute and gazed at it.  Imagine hearing and seeing over 675,000 gallons of water per second pouring over a waterfall.  It was truly awe-inspiring.  I looked over the fence and saw all the people down below. 

Me with Nut The Squirrel on the Boat Tour

We took some pictures and then took the elevator down to the boat tour.  Carrie had purchased some water-resistant cameras for us to take pictures with, so that our own cameras would not get ruined from the water.  We put on our water ponchos that the staff there supplied to us and got in line to get on the boat.

When we went out on the boat, we got to see the American Falls close-up, followed by the Bridal Veil Falls, and finally the Horseshoe Falls.  The close-up perspective was truly amazing.  Being at the bottom of the various falls, we got to almost “feel” the power of these mighty waterfalls.  I tried to imagine what that would actually feel like if I were under it.  I am sure it would be crushing.  As it was, we got pretty wet from all the mist, so the ponchos were great to have.

Carrie on the Boat Tour. The American Falls are in the background.

Once we got back on shore, we dried off a little and rested and watched the American Falls again.  Then we went to the theater to see the movie of the history of the Falls.  It was a dramatization of several historical people and their experiences with the Falls.  We learned about Blondin, the tightrope walker, Annie Taylor, who went over the Falls in a barrel, and a few other people who were trying to get into the history books.

Carrie and I riding the boat on the Erie Canal.

After the movie, we took a side trip to Lockport, NY to ride a boat on the Erie Canal.  On our way there, we discussed the possibility of taking a helicopter ride over the Falls.  Carrie figured I wouldn’t go for it because it was rather expensive.  But I figured that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so why not?  So after the Erie Canal trip, we headed back to Niagara Falls and went on the helicopter tour.

The view from the helicopter was nothing short of amazing.  This was the first helicopter ride for both of us, so we were also exhilarated from our first helicopter ride.  We were taken up high to get a “big picture” perspective, and then we came in closer for several close-up views of the 3 different falls as well.  The pilot really did a good job of giving us so many perspectives of the falls.

Carrie and I right after the helicopter ride.

After the helicopter ride, we went to supper at the Top of the Falls Restaurant, where we had dinner on their deck.  Overlooking the deck was a great view of the Horseshoe Falls.  It was a fantastic setting to a very romantic dinner.  After dinner, we went down to the Horseshoe Falls to see them up close at night.  There are several lights that are shown on the falls at night from the Canadian side, which are powered by generators that are powered by the rapids. 

The next day, we went to a few places we hadn’t seen yet.  We went to the spot between the American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls and were able to look over the edge.  We saw the small Bridal Veil Falls pouring it’s water on people down below who had on the familiar blue ponchos.  Then we walked over to the Horseshoe Falls for one last look, this time in the daylight.  Shortly after, we headed for home.

All 3 Falls. My view from the front seat of the helicopter.

I’ve thought alot about our short time at Niagara Falls, and how it compares to life.  We all have our own unique perspective in life.  There are alot of things that can influence how we view situations in life.  For instance, if we saw a car accident, we may feel sorry for the people involved.  But if we discover that one of our own friends was involved in the accident, we have a much different perspective about that particular accident.  If we are at a store and the person in front of us in line is slowing down the line because of a “price check”, we will have a different perspective than if WE are the one holding up the line for a “price check,” right?

When we are dealing with other people, we need to do a better job of seeing situations from the other people’s perspective if we are to come to a win-win situation.  People don’t want the same things, do they?  If you are in a dispute with someone, be sure to see the situation from the other person’s perspective, because they almost never want the same thing that you want.  When some of my friends suggested that we see the Falls from the Canadian side, were we seeing the same Niagara Falls?  When we were in the boat, were we seeing the same Niagara Falls as we were seeing from the Helicopter?  Of course we were!  But the feeling from the helicopter was a different feeling than that of getting wet in the boat, where we were at the bottom of the falls.  It was a different type of exhilaration.  And it was a different feeling than it was while we were having dinner, too.  We were viewing the same falls, but our perspective was different.

So remember that the next time you are dealing with other people.  We don’t all have the same perspective at the same time.  Learn to see situations from the other person’s perspective as well as your own.  It will go well with you if you do.

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 1421

Elizabeth has some very clear ideas on how her life will go once she gets her bachelor’s degree.  I won’t detail that here, as it is not relevant to my topic.  But suffice to say, she is very idealistic.  She wants to make the very BEST decision in choosing the right college/university for herself.  I support her in that endeavor.  Earlier today, I took her to one of the local universities for a visit.  Next week, I will be taking her to another university.  Sometimes, though, as her father, I feel the need to give her some advice regarding the future.  What she does with it is up to her, but I feel that it is my responsibility to at least tell her my thoughts.

On one of our trips in the car, I was listening to her ideas about what she wants to do for a living.  I was once a school band teacher, and she also wants to pursue music.  She seemed concerned about all of the details of her plans working out, and was hopeful that she could get her ideal job right out of college.  I commented during the conversation. 

“Elizabeth, let me tell you something that I’ve learned in life.  Your success in life will largely be determined by 1 thing.  Yes, there will be many areas that need to come into place, but this one thing will LARGELY determine your success in life.  And that thing is…”

What would you tell her?

“….your ability to manage people.”

You see, whatever you do in life, whether you are a mechanic, a teacher, a salesperson, a construction worker, a truck driver, whether you stock shelves or pick up trash or work in government or WHATEVER you do, your success in life is LARGELY determined by your ability to influence and manage people.

Think about it.  Everything you want in life is presently owned or controlled by someone else.  Doesn’t it make sense to spend some time figuring out how to get it?  If you will take the time to learn, as Dale Carnegie put it, how to win friends and influence people, you will have mastered the #1 key to success in life. 

Yes, you need to be skilled in your chosen line of work.  Yes, you may need training, or a college degree, or even a Ph.D. to be able to “do” your chosen profession.  But if you are not good with people, your success in life will be limited.  The most successful people in the world tend to be those who manage people well.   

I know my daughter reads my blog.  I remember one time she came to me and said something like, “Dad.  I read your blog.  Wow!  I didn’t know you were so….intellectual!”  Spoken as a true teenager.  So, Elizabeth, just remember:  People are more important than things.  Yes, learn your profession well.  Get your degree.  But make sure you take some time to learn how to win friends and influence people, and you will go far.

More next time,

Tim

Word Count: 580

As I have mentioned before, I taught school for 13 years and have been in sales professionally for 6 years.  Being in these two professions for as long as I have has taught me some valuable lessons.  People have problems.  And as long as people have problems, people will blame others for their problems.  And as long as people blame others for their problems, people will blame YOU for their problems.  And yet, you did not create the problem, you were not aware of the problem, but you may have to end up solving the problem.

As much as this will happen, you need to remember the following principle:  In MOST of the cases (I usually say 99.9% of them, but I have no factual data to back up that statement), it’s nothing personal.  There could be an issue at your work that someone is angry about.  You did not create the problem.  You did not know the problem existed.  You weren’t even there that day.  But suddenly, others are expecting YOU to solve it.  Just remember…it’s nothing personal.  It’s not about you.  And you need to keep telling yourself that, because others may MAKE it about you.  Here are some things that will help you solve these types of problems:

1. First of all, remember that the chances are excellent that you personally did not create this problem.  I encounter this kind of thing on a daily basis.  I work in retail at Alltel, and almost every day, a customer will come into the store, complain to me about their bill, and wonder out loud (sometimes VERY “out loud”) what “YOU” (meaning me) are going to do about it!  I realize in my own mind that I probably didn’t create this problem, and so I don’t take it personally.  I CAN’T take it personally, or I will be a basket case!
2. Next, focus on issues, not emotions.  Sometimes, people get very emotional about problems/issues that arise.  Whenever you get people together in public, problems/issues WILL arise.  It’s inevitable.  You, as the “Problem Solver” need to focus on the issues to come to a solution.  Don’t allow anger to get ahold of you.  Slow down and be calm.  Then, focus on the issue, not the person, not the anger, not the name calling, not the foul language, etc.  The more you stick to the issues, the better it will be for you.  Remember, it’s not personal (see #1).  Also remember that the key to solving the problem is to focus on it.  Focus on the emotions and the problem will not go away.  Focus on the problem and the emotions WILL go away.
3. Avoid all Hot Potatoes.  Do not allow the other person to give you their hot potato.  Test all “hot potato” issues IMMEDIATELY for validity.  If you wait to do this, then the other person will assume that it is now YOUR hot potato.  Ask for some kind of verification right away. 

Then, once you have your mindset in place, follow these steps:

1. Ask something like, “What exactly would you like me to do for you?”  Have them establish in your mind what they want.  Don’t just assume that you know what they want by the initial conversation.  Ask!  I am amazed how many times people don’t get to the real issues of a problem because they don’t ask the other person/people this question.  Maybe you really CAN do exactly what they want.  Maybe you can reach a compromise.  But you won’t know if you don’t ask.  Also, make sure you establish in THEIR mind what it is you CAN do for them.  This helps create a win-win situation for both of you.
2. Gather as much information about the situation as you can.  You can’t make an informed decision without information.  Find out exactly what happened, even if you may not like what you find out.  Ask questions, research the topic, look for whatever information you need to make a decision.  Just establishing what everyone wants won’t be enough.  Get as much background information as possible BEFORE giving your thoughts and opinions.
3. Propose a solution where BOTH parties can win.  There does NOT have to be a winner and a loser in every situation.  Many times, both sides won’t even want the same thing.  Part of finding a compromise where both sides can come out winners is realizing that not everyone wants the same things.  People are different.  We all have different needs, desires, and we don’t necessarily need or want the same thing.  Working for a solution for both sides makes everyone feel good and makes everyone willing to work together again.

I realize that these are very basic concepts, and are not really in much detail.  If you want to study this topic further, I would recommend that you study Roger Dawson’s “The Secrets to Power Negotiating”.  Check it out on Amazon.com. 

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 907

Elizabeth was born with a cleft lip and palate.  She has had multiple surgeries over the course of her lifetime to repair the cleft, with the first one being when she was 2 months old.

This past Tuesday, she started the final round of surgery.  At the moment, she has her lips sewn shut.  They will fix this part of it later this month.

Obviously, if you think about it, this creates some challenges for her for the next 3 weeks.  The sides of her mouth are open for breathing and feeding.  She breathes through straws in the sides of her mouth and also breathes through her nose.  She has to have all of her food liquified.  She uses a syringe and feeding tube to eat, as she cannot suck the food through a straw or tube yet.  She has to keep track of how many cc’s she gets down, so that her nutritional needs are met.

And…she can’t talk.

Elizabeth is quite a social creature, so being able to communicate is important to her.  She is also a musician, so she loves to sing, play the piano, and play the trumpet.

At the moment, she can’t do any of that.

As her Dad, obviously my first concern is her recovery.  Because she does not live with me, but lives with her mother, most of that time will not be spent with me.  She will spend a day with me after she gets out of the hospital, since I live in the same town as the hospital, and her mother lives 60 minutes away from the hospital.  This is just a precaution in case she needs to go back in.

The more I got to thinking about other aspects of her recovery time, I realized what a precious gift we have with our ability to communicate.  Elizabeth can KIND OF talk through the two openings on the side of her mouth, but mostly, she has to either write what she wants to say on a white board that she carries around, or she can send a text message from her phone, or email or instant message someone.  She can update her friends and family on her blog.  And she can update her Facebook account.

We have LOTS of different mediums to communicate.  I can see the frustration in her eyes when she is trying to tell me or someone else something and the other person doesn’t understand her.  She can use some sign language, gestures, or just write on her white board.  Or hope that someone ELSE in the room understands what she is saying and repeats it for her.  Writing on her white board is slow, and I can tell that she would rather not have to use it.

My main point of this post is more personal in nature.  I have learned a valuable lesson from watching her.  Well, several actually, but one in particular.  We have so many avenues available to us for communication.  We as humans are very social creatures.  We don’t always appreciate the things that we DO have.  We take them for granted.  Like the ability to speak to each other with our mouth.  And when we lose it, we want it back NOW!  And we are FRUSTRATED when we lose it and can’t get it back.

I said in a previous post that I believe that people are more important than things.  Don’t take your family and friends for granted, because some day, you may lose the ability to talk with them.  And that will really frustrate you.

Trust me on this one.  I see it in my daughter and am frustrated FOR her.

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 646

After our singing time, the Worship Pastor introduced the guest speaker and mentioned what his area of focus is.  I thought that our church did a very good job of prepping us of what he was going to speak on.

The guest speaker came up to the platform with his Bible and 3 other books in his hand.   When some of the ushers went to move a pulpit to the platform for him to use, he declined and said he would rather not use it.  The ushers sat down.

The first thing the speaker did was show us some of the books he was holding.  He had either authored or co-authored them all.  He said they would be available after the service in the back at $10 each or 3 for $25.  Then his assistant exchanged those 3 books for 3 other books.  Again, he explained what the books were about and said they would be available after the service in the back at the same cost.

The message the speaker gave was very good.  He was a gifted, experienced speaker.  He had been a pastor previously for 25 years or so, and I anticipated a very good message.

On the drive home, I asked my fiancee’, Carrie, what she though of the guest speaker.  She said she was COMPLETELY turned off by him, and that she didn’t listen to at all, except for a few moments.  I asked her why, and she explained that she was turned off by the fact that the first thing the speaker did when he got on the platform, was to give a sales pitch about his books!

He could have given his presentation and made mention of his books during his sermon.  Yes, he was given a very good introduction by the church, both last week and this week.  We understood that he had a great background in his area of expertise.  But when he gave a sales pitch as the introduction to his sermon, he lost credibility.

All of it.

This reminded me of a principle in influencing other people.  Most people make judgements of others based on first impressions.  You have about 7 seconds to make that impression on people. 

You can have a great resume and cover letter for a job, but if you mess up that first 7 seconds of an interview, you lose!  

In sales, you have to build a relationship if you expect to make sales long-term.  We all know that it is easier to make a sale with people that you have a relationship with rather than cold-calling all the time.  Repeat sales are the life-blood of a business.

Starting with the very first encounter…the very first handshake…the very first contact of any kind, you need to work on building a relationship.  And in building a relationship, always remember:

It’s Not About YOU!

If you are trying to build a relationship, don’t talk about yourself in the beginning like that speaker did.  Talk about the OTHER person.  ASK them questions about themself.  Keep the focus on them.

People will like you more if you ask them about themselves and get them talking about themselves.  If you are in sales, find out what your customer’s interests are.  Get to know them personally.  Ask them what they need.  They probably already know that you are in sales and at SOME point you will be able to talk to them about your product.

If you start out talking about yourself, you severely limit your ability to influence others.  So don’t do it.

After all…It’s Not About YOU!

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 645

• Family
• Food
• Football
• Freedom

Then the next day, Friday, Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is the biggest day in retail.  Stores all over the country will open early.  VERY early.  Some stores will open at 4am.

4am?

I remember in 2001, I woke up at around 5:30am to go to Wal-Mart for something that was only on sale from 6:00-11:00am.  I watched as the employees surrounded a number of wrapped pallets in the aisles between grocery and clothing.  The store was FLOODED with customers waiting for that big announcement.

People were scouting out where things were.  They had their lists, the advertisements, their plans.  They were going to this store first for this, that and the other thing.  Then off to this store by 6:45am to get products a, b, and c.  By 7:30, they would be travelling to the third store.  And on it went.

This year, in a time of economic unrest and recession, I am reminded of all the sales and marketing tactics that are demonstrated to the public.  The latest, greatest product will be on sale beginning at 4:00am.  Get there early, because supplies are LIMITED. 

Let me ask you a question.  Do you think that maybe, just possibly, that there is a REASON that supplies are limited?  Of course there is a reason.  They want as many people as possible to be there to spend as much as they can as fast as they can, and they do that with the concept of scarcity.  People will do almost anything if they think that they will lose out on something…some deal…some GREAT bargain.  And they won’t even THINK about all of the driving that they are doing….of the money they are spending in gas.  And they won’t think about this, either:

There will be more of the “limited supplies” in January.  And February.  And March. 

I call this “Planned Scarcity”, for lack of a better term.  You see, stores need to make sales in January, February, and March just as much as they need sales in December.  They create a LOT of hype concerning the latest, greatest product, and then limit the supplies in the stores.  You can bet that the rest of the products are in their warehouses, waiting to be shipped to the stores. 

So when you go out shopping for this Christmas season, just remember that if you can’t find it now, and if it can wait, look again in January.  Or February.  Or March.  It’ll be there.

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 440

I rushed over to see what was wrong.  One of my tuba players had dropped his tuba on the concrete.  I asked what happened.  He said a bee was either chasing him or stung him (I can’t remember for sure)  I asked him if he was all right.  He seemed nervous and said yes.  I asked him if he was allergic to bees and he said no.  I made sure that everything was all right with him, and then he picked up his tuba and we got back to practice.

Not once did I yell at him for dropping the tuba on the concrete.  I wasn’t even upset about it.  My concern was for him and his safety.

Now, I realize that to some, a bee sting is no big deal.  Some might think that I would have been livid about him dropping a $3000 tuba on the concrete.  MANY of the kids were shocked at my response to not even address the dropping of the tuba.  Frankly, I wasn’t concerned at all.

You see, tubas can be fixed.  But if a student under my care is hurt, I am very concerned.

I had a parent of a different student come into my office several days later and comment to me that her daughter was very impressed by my response to the tuba player.  She said that other teachers would have yelled at the student for possibly damaging the tuba.  My response to her was simple.

“People are more important than things.”

As I have said before, I work for a cellular telephone company called Alltel.  I and my fiancee both own Blackberries.  I also use an HTC Touch phone for my work phone.  One of the dangers with having a Blackberry is that it is SO addicting.  It really IS an all-in-one device.  From it, I can send and receive email, text and picture messages, instant message people all over the world (I regularly chat with my chess-playing buddy Kenny from Scotland and have just recently acquired a Blackberry buddy in London named Peter).  I can get maps from google, play chess right on the phone with Kenny, google various key words to find information, etc. 

The problem that I have with the Blackberry is control.  Who is in control?  Me, or the Blackberry?  I constantly have to be careful to prioritize my time and attention, as I am easily distracted due to my ADD.  There are times where I have to silence my Blackberry (like when I am in church) so as not to be distracted or be a distraction to others.

This leads me to my main point here.  Like I said in the tuba player story, people are more important than things.  Part of being a successful person in life is being in control of yourself.  If you don’t take an active role in that, you will find that you will give up that control to others by default.  Be ever mindful of this fact.  When a loved one is trying to get your attention and you are buried in your Blackberry, your TV, your computer, or whatever else it is that has your attention, you need to make a choice.  Are you going to choose the person, or the thing? 

I don’t think there are many, if any, people who wish they had spent more time at work rather than being with their family.  But there are PLENTY of people who regret spending too much time at work and not enough time with their family.

Success in life is not so much defined by what you have, but what you DO with what you have, and with WHOM you do it with.  If I had a million dollars but could not spend time with my family, I would not see myself as successful. 

So the next time you are paying more attention to THINGS rather than the people around you, remember this successful formula:

People are more important than things.

More another time,

Tim Jensen

Word Count: 733

At one point, I looked up at the TV and saw that the game was still going on.  I was watching the game but not listening to it, because I still have it muted even as I write this. 

Watching the TV with it muted reminded me of some body language study you can do to practice your skills at reading the body language of others.

Have you ever been in a public place and just watched people from a distance?   Watched their interactions, their gestures, their stance and so on?  Have you ever watched TV with the sound muted and tried to figure out what is going on?  Or have you watched the TV evening news with the sound muted?

Studying people’s body language is CRUCIAL to your ability to influence and persuade other people.  If you cannot, with a reasonable degree of accuracy, discern what others are telling you non-verbally, you will have difficulty with your ability to really understand what the other person is thinking. 

For example, consider the following scene:

You are in a public place and see two people, one woman and one man, off in the distance.  They are standing and facing each other while talking.  Suddenly, the woman’s posture changes, with her hands moving to her hips.  At this point, she appears to be tensing up in her face and speaking at a very rapid rate.  The man moves one of his hands to the back of his neck and appears to be rubbing it.  He moves it to his forehead and rubs that.  Then he begins to respond to her verbally with his hands moving in the air while she moves her hands from her hips to crossing her arms in front of her.  One foot is pointed towards him while the other foot is pointed 90 degrees apart from the other foot.  She backs up a step and pulls her head and chest away from him while he seems to move in closer to her.  She also starts nervously playing with her necklace and actually takes a step back from him.  Then he confidently steps towards her as she turns her body away from him, but keeps her head in his direction.

You can just imagine what is going on in this discussion.  Perhaps she begins the conversation by confronting him on some issue, and it makes him uncomfortable.  She says something that triggers his anger and he lashes back and makes her suddenly nervous.  He sees this, and persues the issue further, which makes her want to turn away and leave, but she feels an obligation to continue listening to him.  All of these things and probably much more was easily discerned because we all have a basic knowledge of the body language of others.

There are also several subtle things that you can pick up if you watch for them.  Next time, I will share with you what I have learned is the best area of a person to watch when trying to discern what the other person it really thinking.  It may indeed surprise you.

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 593

In July, I had created a new blog for my Fiancee and I.  You can find it at http://www.timandcarrie.com.  The initial purpose of the blog was to let others know about us as a couple as well as to post announcements concerning our wedding.

However, as I added more and more posts, information about the wedding kept being pushed further and further down the blog.  Carrie kept asking me to move the wedding info back to the top, because that was the reason why people were initially coming to the blog was to view the wedding info.

So I decided to hire someone to create a Wordpress plugin that would accomplish this automatically; that is, to have the wedding info continually “float to the top” without me having to do it every time.  Such was the creation of my new plugin called:

Wordpress List Builder

I realize that my description above doesn’t have anything to do with list building.  Just click on the link above to read the rest of the story, and you will understand why I came up with that name for the plugin.

This little plugin has MANY uses.  Go check out that link and read more about what it can do for you if you have a Wordpress blog.

More another time,

Tim

Word Count: 249